February 18, 2026

How to Hold Space in a Cacao Ceremony and Why I’m Finally Ready to Teach It (soon)

Over the past year, one question keeps coming back to me: “Can you teach me how to hold space in a cacao ceremony?”

And if I’m honest, that question has stirred a lot inside me. Not because I don’t want to share, but because holding space feels sacred. It isn’t something I take lightly (ever). It isn’t a script you memorise or a playlist you quickly curate. It isn’t lighting a candle, pouring cacao and hoping for the best. It’s a responsibility. It’s emotional steadiness and it’s presence through connection, integrity and ritual. If you have been to my ceremonies you will know that I am a firm believer in co-regulation. It’s not enough to ‘Just be’, we need to be together. Being and Being Together. This is a huge task, to bring energy together in a room by the power of holding space.

But the more I’ve been asked, the more I’ve realised something important. There are so many people feeling called to facilitate cacao ceremonies, and that’s beautiful. The world needs more conscious connection. It needs spaces where people can soften and feel. And at the same time, those spaces need integrity. They need grounding. They need facilitators who understand what they are really stepping into and to hold the space safely.

So yes! I will be teaching this in the near future. But before that happens, I want to share what holding space truly means within cacao ceremonies at I AM BEING, and what I believe is essential if you feel called to do this work. There is so much more depth to this than one blog can hold, but this feels like the right place to begin and perhaps, plants that seed.

What Holding Space Actually Means

When people hear “holding space,” it can sound mystical or abstract. But at its core, it’s very simple. Holding space means creating an environment where someone feels safe enough to be fully themselves without judgement. Like a container essentially (but no vacuum).

That safety is not accidental. It is intentional. It’s created through your energy, your tone, your pacing, your boundaries and your regulation. In a cacao ceremony, people are often arriving with open (and curious!) hearts. Ceremonial-grade cacao gently increases blood flow and can heighten emotional awareness. It doesn’t overpower; it softens. It invites. And when hearts soften, emotions can rise and, sometimes unexpectedly.

Someone may begin to cry. Someone may feel joy bubbling up. Someone may feel discomfort or anger. Someone may sit very quietly and go inward. All of it is valid and welcome. Your role as a facilitator is not to direct what arises. It is not to manufacture breakthroughs. It is not to push emotion. Your role is to create a container sturdy enough to hold whatever unfolds.

It Starts With Your Nervous System

One of the biggest misconceptions about holding space is that it’s about what you say. In truth, it’s about how regulated you are.

If your nervous system is unsettled, the room will feel it. If you’re anxious about how the ceremony is going, participants will subtly pick that up. If you are uncomfortable with silence, you will rush to fill it.

Before every cacao ceremony at I AM BEING, I take time to ground myself. Sometimes it’s ten quiet minutes alone in the space before anyone arrives. Sometimes it’s slow breathing, inhaling for four, exhaling for six. Sometimes it’s placing my hand on my heart and simply asking myself, “How are you, really?”

You cannot hold someone through intensity if you are afraid of intensity. You cannot hold tears if you are uncomfortable with tears. You cannot hold anger if it scares you. And you certainly cannot hold silence if you are desperate to fill it.

Self-regulation is not optional in this work. It is foundational in my opinion and I am super serious and passionate about that.

Never Judge and I mean that Not Out Loud & Not Inside

One of the pillars of I AM BEING is that people are allowed to be exactly as they are. That isn’t branding. It’s practice and I feel it with every bone in my body.

Judgement, even subtle internal judgement, changes a room. People feel it. If someone laughs loudly during a quiet moment, if someone cries deeply, if someone shares something messy or raw, your micro-expressions matter. Your posture matters. Your breath matters.

Holding space means meeting whatever arises with neutrality and compassion. It means resisting the urge to categorise someone’s process as “too much” or “not enough.” It means trusting that each person’s experience is unfolding in the way it needs to.

The moment judgement enters, the container tightens. When compassion leads, it expands. And that’s what we need, time to expand safely.

The Power of Silence

Silence is one of the most underestimated tools in a cacao ceremony and probably something I feel is top of the agenda. It can feel uncomfortable, especially for new facilitators. There’s often a temptation to keep guiding, to keep speaking, to keep the energy “flowing.” But silence is where integration happens.

In our cacao ceremonies at I AM BEING, there are intentional moments of stillness. No music. No guidance. Just breath and presence. At first, silence can feel long. Then something shifts. People begin to settle. The nervous system softens. Thoughts slow. Insight rises.

If you rush to fill silence because it makes you uneasy, you interrupt that process. Learning to hold silence without anxiety is a skill, and it’s one of the most important ones you can cultivate. There are so many ways I practice and do this and it’s about hold silence in a way that allows other’s to hear the stillness of their own thoughts. A gift of time to be with yourself.

Time Is Sacred

Another crucial element of holding space is allowing time. Emotional processes don’t run on a strict schedule. Some people will share easily; others will need long pauses before they find their words. Some may not want to speak at all.

In cacao ceremonies at I AM BEING, sharing is always optional. There is never pressure. No spotlighting. No expectation to perform vulnerability. Your okay to just listen and share as and when you want to. When people feel rushed, safety decreases. When people feel spaciousness, honesty increases. Time communicates respect. It tells someone, “You are not an inconvenience. Your process is not too slow.”

Consent and Boundaries

Heart-opening spaces can blur boundaries if you’re not careful. That’s why consent is non-negotiable. If someone is crying, you do not assume they want touch. You ask. If someone is quiet, you do not assume they want prompting. You check in gently. Autonomy must remain intact at all times. Equally important is understanding your own scope. Cacao ceremonies are not therapy sessions unless you are a qualified therapist holding them as such. If someone’s process moves into territory that requires professional support, that is the correct way for them to take as holding space is not the same as being a trained therapist.

Cleansing the Space Before Ceremony

Before anyone enters the room, the space itself needs attention. Physical cleanliness matters. A tidy, well-ventilated room communicates care. Comfortable seating, water available, and thoughtful layout all contribute to safety and welcoming!

Energetically, I always set intention before a ceremony begins. I will often sit alone in the room and quietly speak words of grounding: that the space be safe, that truth rise gently, that everyone feel welcome as they are. Sometimes I use sound, such as a chime or singing bowl, to signal the beginning. Occasionally there is smoke cleansing, always with respect and awareness of its origins.

The ritual itself is not what makes the space powerful. The clarity behind it does.

Structure Creates Safety

Even the most intuitive cacao ceremony needs structure. When people know what to expect, their nervous system relaxes.

At I AM BEING, ceremonies typically begin with grounding and getting comfy (time to settle), followed by a clear explanation of the cacao, history and connection. We drink together with intention. There may be guided meditation, breathwork or gentle movement, followed by silence and optional sharing. We close intentionally, ensuring everyone feels grounded before leaving. Structure is not rigidity. It is containment. It allows freedom within safe edges.

Why I’m Ready to Teach This

This work requires a huge amount of self-awareness. It requires the willingness to examine your own ego and shadow before I can look outwards at helping others to facilitate cacao ceremonies.

But I also see how many people are searching for connection. I see the growth of cacao ceremonies everywhere. And I believe there is room for more facilitators who approach this with integrity, instead of performance. It’s about connection, integrity and ritual.

And so, I will be teaching how to hold space in cacao ceremonies through I AM BEING. It won’t be about scripts or aesthetics. It will be about nervous system awareness, consent, boundaries, ethics, plant respect and deep self-inquiry by being and being together.

Because at its heart, holding space is simple. It is sitting beside someone without trying to change them. It is listening without fixing. It is allowing silence. It is trusting that people carry their own wisdom. That the journey is within. You are home.

There is so much more to say, and this is only the beginning. But if you feel called to hold space in cacao ceremonies (truly hold it) then perhaps this is your invitation to go deeper, not louder, with me.

The teachings are coming and if your keen to explore this with me, get in touch or join the newsletter or lets chat in person. It will be a small group so don’t wait.

gizelle@iambeing.co.uk to register

Being and Being Together,

Gizelle Renee Xx