Choice is Loss; Loss is Love

I sat with a close friend this week, discussing all things life, loss, and love. For those who know me, I often enter deep states of lucid dreaming, even during the day. I drift into patterns of thought that question the formation of the human body, its mind (both the thinking part and the intelligent part), and the soul—how they connect, and the weight we assign to each to maintain harmony. At least in this life, we can’t exist without all three.

When I daydream, I think about love. I’m always thinking about love and noticing it around me; it’s the most beautiful gift you can give—to others and to yourself—and it costs nothing. Love can be a simple act of kindness, like a smile, or taking a moment to ask the lady I just ordered my tea from how she is before placing my order. It’s in those small acts of magic—when we recognise someone just as they are—that we truly say, “I love you.” It’s powerful.

When the boys and I give thanks for our food over the dinner table, we always close with a line. Mine, for as long as I can remember, has been, “May everyone have someone to love.” It’s my belief that if we feel accountable to show up in love—for each other and ourselves—then everything grows from there, because we feel safe. Love is the foundation of the soul. We need it. I know I need it.

As we go through life, “stuff” happens, and choices must be made. Those choices—good or bad—have consequences that shape our next steps. Recently, I’ve been reflecting deeply on my choices, and I’ve come to understand that with every choice, there is a loss. A choice means there are at least two options, and therefore, when we choose one, we inevitably experience the loss of the other. Even decisions made from pure love carry this truth. When I choose to walk my dog instead of kicking a football, to meditate instead of doing yoga, or to hug rather than kiss, there is a loss. One option prevails over the other.

But within that loss lies another choice—the choice to return and embrace the path not taken. Not always, and not in the same moment, but there are opportunities to revisit and reclaim. I can play football another day, practise yoga later, and I probably kiss far too much anyway.

Loss is simply a moment in time, born out of love. And love, in its infinite capacity, can hold space and time to revisit everything. Nothing is ever truly lost.

Being,
Gizelle Renee